you have to straddle the ball, mandy!

Post title courtesy of my mother.

While playing mini golf. That seems important.

This drag is about to fly away to Idaho after a long hiatus.

Things that I have done over the course of the break: drank about 15 iced coffees from Dunkin Donuts, adopted a moose (Wubbie), purchased a zebra print snuggie, used the weirdest toilet ever, drank a lot of Sam Adams, and pondered my future while watching assorted movies on the lifetime movie channel. What a gem of a station! A GEM! Career options brainstormed:

1)snuggie maker for drags.
2) Make Target establish a "greeter" position ala Walmart and pretty much push anyone down the stairs ala showgirls who attempted to vie for the position.
3.) romance novel authoress. I was at Target with my brother (who is trying to take over my blog) buying a snuggie, which apparently was embarressing for him (i guess it's weird to vana white the snuggie in the parking lot and ask assorted dunkin donuts [iced coffee!] employees and pedestrians if they liked my purchase). But I made us walk down the book aisle (okay. aisles. sort of.) so I could get self-righteous about twilight or tori spelling or anita shreve, and I saw a romance novel entitled: Your Ranch or Mine?

.........perfect! I was thinking I could do a spin off with dragons and do Your Castle or Mine, and then Your Cave or Mine (imagine the covers on those, readers!), and things could get lucrative and I could do Your Yacht or Mine (for Connecticut residents) and Your Ice Cream Truck or Mine (for pedophiles!) And I could keep going! Forever!

I also was skulking about and found all of these awesome poems I wrote in intro poetry in college. I was so angsty! Why didn't anyone tell me? This is a line from one of the poems:

You put things into boxes and I'm caustic, caustic.

There is more where that came from. Trust me. Listen to that sweet assonance--or whatever it's called! I also found all of these papers that I wrote about Chaucer and I tricked my mom into reading them. So now she is all atwitter about the Manciple and the Squire. Backfire.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. I was going to frame this using a movie like one ms. amber nelson, but the only thing I saw besides Stella Got her Groove Back (lifetime movie channel! i am telling you! pure gold!) was Harry Pottah. This resulted in the purchase of an "I'd get sleezy for Ron Weasley shirt".

Idaho tomorrow. Dragon high five!