Don't Squish My Squash

Really good places I've been pretending to be a dragon: Walmart, Portland, and a dollar theater screening of The Hannah Montana movie.

Walmart: more rattail dragons, but joined by spandex dragons. not to be confused with the greeter dragon!

Portland: dragons with goatees and slightly askew hipster hats.

The Hannah Montana Movie: I feel like this requires some explanation. On one hand, slapstick requires no explanation. People pretty much fall over or hit their heads on things and it's funny. But this movie. Man. You might not know this, loyal readers, but dragons are intellectuals. They like to get meta. They like to think about how they are thinking about how they are thinking about the fact that they are, indeed, dragons. But Hannah Montana was beyond the scope of this dragon. The CHARACTER is named Miley Stewart, who in her other life is blonde superstar Hannah Montana. Her dad on the show/in the movie is Bobbie Ray. In real life, these people are known as Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus (rattail fed miracle-grow into mullet Achey Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus! the very one!). Not only do I get confused about what is real/what is commenting on what is real/ what is not real/WHY NO ONE CAN FREAKING IDENTIFY HER SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE TOSSES ON A WIG, but I begin to wonder how Miley Cyrus's real mother feels about the fact that she is dead in the tv series/movie. Maybe we should ask a picture of Brooke Shields, because that is who portrays her dead mom in the movie.

Enough of that. Here are some dragon puns:

I didn't study for my dragon exam. I guess I'm going to have to WING it!

I once dated a slutty dragon and I got BURNED!

I was trying to stop a chatty dragon, but it's just was a total DRAG ON! (you can also use cigarettes/ dragging for this)

And don't worry, brother of mine. I will flame you in an upcoming post. Unless you want to guess post? You have a lot of dragon knowledge from WoW, no?