You Never Sausage a Place!

Say it out loud!

So AmandaB somehow thinks she's the one who's all Pro-Renaissance Fair... but golly gee! While she was gallavanting across Portland's hipster streets, I was driving into the ghettos of Idaho to find myself a dashing Knight! Or Chain Mail! Or jousting! Or all three of them in some holy trinity of Renaissance Fun!

Alas, it was not so. Among the grassy knolls of Settler's Park I found "Nancy's Cookies" and balloon animals and yes... you would not think it could ever disapoint, but, Hawaiian Shaved Ice! I am almost certain that King Arthur never indulged in such sugary delights. This Renaissance Fair was nothing if not disappointing. There weren't even dragons! There weren't even painted plywood cutouts of dragons! In the immortal words of my man Chuckie... they totally "phoned it in."

But all was not lost. This was a day of festivals and somebody was bound to survive my critical eye.

Up next? Greek Food Festival. Sure, no dragons were likely to appear but there would be music and dancing and then I found myself wondering... Greek "food" Festival? Like... if there's the music and the dancing and the market and the Greek Orthodox Service... isn't it just a "Greek" Festival? Alas... no. Upon arrival you quickly learn that the point is not the music, dancing, arts & crafts, or even religion. It really, really is the food. The Greeks... well I knew this from living there... they know how to live. To eat is to live! And damn if the food wasn't to die for. Gyros with slammin' Tztiziki and dolmathes and so many delightful pastries. It more than made up for the fact that the music came from a cd player and the dancing was just a bunch of people holding hands and walking in circle... and poor kids, they even seemed confused about that!

Of course, a Gyro, good as it is, is no giant leg of flesh or mug of mead. Still, the day of festivals was a success.

And it was followed by flossing in public... can you say awwwwwkward.

What new adventure can I come up with next?