There are still JOES in harm's way!

So AmandaB and I have been on many dragon adventures, resulting in many dragon Ta(i)l(e)s for us to share with you. Mostly, though, we've watched bad movies at our local dollar theater, or acquired from our local (and exceptionally convenient) REDBOX (teehee...).

Upon telling our friends that we are going to see, say, Hannah Montana or maybe Leatherheads or Twilight, we've received raised eyebrows and skepticism. Amazingly, though, it was when mentioning our intent to see GI JOES that I received the most scorn and mocking. Really? Of all the movies? Even Hannah Montana?

That said, it does have the all-star cast meant to induce scorn: Channing Tatum (Or is it Tatum Channing??? What the hell is his name?), Sienna Miller (somehow managing to be in several good movies, and still be awful in all of them-- I should marry and divorce a celebrity so I can be famous too!), and one of the Wayans (I think Marlon? Best known for his screaming like a woman, probably, in all of the mock movies (see Scary Movie or Dance Flick or whatever other stupid-I-have-no-original-ideas-of-my-own mock films they made), and of course Dennis Quaid (who I have since come to the realization is like Nick Cage in that if I see his name on the Marquee I can pretty much assume disaster is in the distance). But is that all? Oh no. Then we have strange cameos from the usually delightful Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and the always awful (well, post Encino Man) Brendan Fraser (who has about 5 minutes in the movie-- his best line? They're Joes guys...).

There were, of course, other folks too-- a cute but evil asian guy. That one white guy with the big nose and the accent. Some redheaded chic.

I was really looking forward to the laugh riot meant to occur during this movie. It did not, however, happen. This movie was bad, no doubt. And the dialogue, just terrible. (Sienna Miller "Nice shoes" and CT/TC "I'm getting YOU out of here" and Wayans "Suddenly not one memorable moment of dialogue because my character is so stock/cliche that I couldn't even have one moment of memorable dialogue cliche.") The thing is, that even as I sit to write this, there is very little I can remember about the movie. It was non-memorable. What I remember most is that every time someone said "Joes" (because they weren't referred to as GI Joes in the movie) I thought of those joes potatoes you can get in the deli of your local grocery. Every time. So when they say "Lets get those Joes out of there" I see someone scooping fried potatoes. When they say "There are still Joes in Harm's way!" I know that ketchup is near and death by digestion nigh.

And what is the deal with all of the black leather outfits on ladies in movies. I mean, why couldn't we leave it at catwoman. She was always supposed to be in black leather. Everyone else is thieving. Bad copies.

All of this to say I'm sad that I can't relate more of the joys of this little flick. That I didn't leave in riotous laughter which I can now relate to you. I did, however, participate in 2 hours of complete and total braindeaded-ness which, considering that last several weeks, seemed about right.

In other DRAGON news...

PBR is definitely the nectar of dragons. It's gone to the committee for review and been approved.

Also Swedish Fish.